“Tell me about the five people in your circle, and I’ll tell you about your future,” preached Bucky Kennedy on Sunday evening. I’d just seen the truth of that exposed in a cold jail cell that morning. We don’t always have time to sit down and visit with the women in jail due to time constraints, but this Sunday was different. The officer hadn’t arrived yet so as I sat at the table, I began to converse with the young girl that had just gotten saved that morning! Her eyes were still bright and shiny from being washed with tears. She held a “Free on the Inside” Bible in her hands. It’s a special Bible that has devotions for those who are incarcerated. You could tell she’d been reading it, and now she has a personal relationship with the Author! She began to tell me her story. She told me about the grief that consumed her after her mother passed away unexpectedly. She was just 27 years old, a single mom with her own little girl to raise. She said her mom was her rock and holding her hand in the hospital room as she passed from this life was more than she could bear. The grief just overwhelmed her. She went into a deep depression and instead of being surrounded by friends that would walk with her, she had a boyfriend who offered her what he used to numb his pain, drugs. The descent into the world of addiction was quick and had a hold on her before she knew it. And all because of someone she trusted, someone she let into her circle. We are aware, as we share with the ladies every Sunday, that many of them have been surrounded by “friends” who need to be avoided at all costs. We encourage them to find a “church home” when they get out. Why? Because we know that if they surround themselves with Bible believing, God loving folks, they have a better chance at changing their story. And we silently pray that the “church” will indeed reach out and love these women as they enter the doors. I not only thought of that sweet sister in the jail, but I thought about my own life and the brokenness I faced when I allowed someone into my circle that I shouldn’t have. I had been (and am) blessed with such a beautiful circle of friends. Perhaps I didn’t realize at the time how precious that was. Perhaps I took that beautiful circle of friends for granted. I knew I was strong because of my friendships. Perhaps I imagined myself too strong. Maybe I was even a little boastful. “Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall” Proverbs 16:18 tells me. Why do the scriptures seem so clear, after the fact? It reminds me of that scene in the movie “Bruce Almighty” where Bruce is distraught and driving his car and praying out loud asking for a “sign from God” and there are literally 20 signs he passes that say “caution, slow down, danger ahead, STOP!” and he drives by them all while still praying! I was the one ignoring all the signs so clearly before me. I never dreamed it would be so easy to bypass them. But when your foot is on the accelerator, the signs become just a blur on the side of the road. That’s when you need that trustworthy, Godly, precious circle of friends to gather around you and be the hands of Jesus. And I was so thankful I still had a few of those left. They helped me to see there could still be a better future. I don’t know where I’d be without the love of friends. And my dear sister in jail? Does she have a circle? What about the next lady, and the next? I look into each of their faces on Sunday and wonder, who are the friends that will be there for them when they are released? Who will love them back to life? Because I can tell you that many of them feel they have no life. Now I have a new prayer to pray for them. God, give them a circle.
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“Hitch the hot dog cart to the truck cause we’re off and running.” Doesn’t that sound like a great opening line for a country song? I can already picture a backwoods dirt road leading to a big field where everyone from town has gathered for the County Fair. A young married couple is starting their first venture together….a hot dog stand that specializes in hot dogs with homemade buns that make it one of a kind! Everyone flocks to their booth because they can smell the mouth-watering hot dogs all over the park and the line at their booth is the longest one at the Fair because everyone is talking about those delicious, homemade buns! The couple just looks at each other because they know they’ve put a lot of hard work and grunt hours into getting this business off the ground, and doing it together has made it all the more sweeter. See where a line can take you? You’ll never guess where the motivation for the line came from. **Caution --you’re about to enter the territory of how a songwriter’s mind works** I read an article in a magazine yesterday, wrote an email, made a phone call and set up a meeting. And that equals hot dog cart off and running! Maybe this calls for a little more of an explanation so you can understand just how amazing it is! (Besides, I want to write all this down so I don’t forget how it happened! How DO people write memoirs with years of details? I can barely remember what happened last week!!) As most of you know, I’m involved with four other amazing folks in starting a non-profit called New Hope Horizons. There’s a whole set of amazing circumstances that were in place for that process to even start, but that’s another blog. We’re talking about the hot dog cart taking off right now. New Hope Horizons is going to be a transitional facility for women who, because of addictions in their lives, have either been in jail or otherwise separated from society by their actions and need a place to stay. Our desire is to see them become whole in Christ as they transition back to their lives and their families. Since I have no background in establishing a non-profit, I have been doing tons of research. Some of that research involves checking out every website I can find of existing non-profits that are transitional facilities. The next step is to visit some of these facilities to hopefully inquire about the “do’s and don’ts” of establishing a transitional home. To garner wisdom from those who have already successfully maneuvered all the licensing and qualifications to become such a facility. We don’t have any recommended places to visit, so we’re at the mercy of the internet to lead us. Or so I thought. God had another thought and it came in the mail yesterday. It was the magazine of my alma mater, Trevecca Nazarene University. Their feature articles were about Homecoming 2016 and I decided to read it right then since I’m going this year for the first time in 20 years. I read about Homecoming every year, but we never go (except for one time about 20 years ago). I’m not really sure why. It’s where Ben and I met, and where we made a lot of friendships. I guess since it’s held the first weekend of November, it seems like we always have too much to do to go. Or maybe it’s mostly because my vacation days are usually all used up by November! Just a few weeks ago I received a group message sent out to all the members of New Direction, the PR group that I traveled and sang with from 1982 to 1985. The Alumni Association that plans homecoming is wanting us to sing a song at one of the Homecoming concerts this year. When i read that, I just felt like for some reason I needed to make sure i was there this year. And although, yes, I’m out of vacation days, my job is allowing me to go without pay. As I’m thumbing through the magazine yesterday I notice that Daryl Murray, who was two years ahead of me at TNU, is receiving an award at the Alumni Chapel service for his contributions to his community. As I read what that contribution was, my mouth fell straight open. 24 years ago Daryl Murray started a non-profit called Welcome Home Ministries---TRANSITIONAL HOUSING FOR MEN. WHAT? DID I READ THAT RIGHT? Someone I know, and will be seeing in three weeks, has successfully run a non-profit business for 24 years, transitional housing and a program ministering to men who come out of jail or off the streets? Now if Daryl had received that award last year….1) I would not have even known what a transition house was, 2) I would not have been planning trips to meet with Directors of such facilities and 3) I would not be thinking about going to Nashville, TN for homecoming. But I didn’t read it last year. It’s happening THIS year. The YEAR I’m going to homecoming. So of course I googled the website. Of course I read all about the wonderful things that are going on at Welcome Home Ministries. And of course I emailed Daryl and thankfully he emailed back and said he would love to show us around his facility. Ain’t God good? Here I am (and when I say “I”, it means my group as well), trying to make plans and set the foundations of our non-profit on the firm ground of knowledge. Some days it feels like I have no clue as to where to go or what questions to ask. And although these places on the internet look good, are they really? When we get there, will it be worth our trip and time? The God decides to clear a little path to a place called Welcome Home. A chance to visit with the founder and visionary behind that ministry. A chance to learn some things that will help New Hope Horizons become the place that we are all dreaming it will be….the dream God gave us. That’s like giving me the secret recipe for homemade hot dog buns that makes my hot dog stand the hit of the County Fair……or something like that!! I bet if the Apostle Paul had a business card, it would have had this tag line on it: “Sometimes you have to lose your sight to find your way.” I’ve been thinking this week about what it was like when Paul was still Saul, sitting in a borrowed room of a borrowed house not being able to see a thing. There he was, a man living a very crooked life, in a house on a street named “Straight”. The Bible doesn’t tell us a lot about what Saul did during those three days, but it did tell us that he prayed. I wonder what those prayers were like. What do you say to the God of the universe when you’ve spent years having His children imprisoned and killed? What was it like to begin to realize that all the hate in your heart for others was actually separating you from the one who loved you most? Talk about a paradigm shift! You think you’ve been fighting for RIGHT and JUSTICE as you have approved killings in order to stamp out the name of Jesus, and now that name is the very name that is giving YOU life. I imagine as Saul sat there for three days not eating or drinking, he had a thousand thoughts going through His mind. Maybe Saul began to look back at his life and realized the light had already been shining on him before he ever hit that road to Damascus. He finally began to understand the gnawing feeling that was in his gut as he dragged Christians to jail. It had always bothered him how willingly they seemed to go. How there seemed to be a peace on their face that He mistook for pride and haughtiness, as if they were so sure nothing would ever happen to them. Now he understood their peace wasn’t in their outcome, but in the One in whom they had faith. He understood because now He’d heard that voice. In fact, as he thought about it over those three days in physical darkness, the voice had actually seemed familiar…….. Think with me for a moment….have you ever come to a “realization” about Jesus and your place in His Kingdom, His plan for your life, and when you did, you could see how long the Holy Spirit had been trying to reveal it to you? Did you look back and see all the pieces falling into place? Were you able to recognize the people He had purposefully put in your path to help you see? I believe all those Christians that Paul was putting in chains were leaving their marks on his soul…..like little dots. Our Pastor recently preached on “Connecting the Dots”, a sermon on how God brings people into our lives to affirm us, to help us see Jesus and what He wants to do in our lives, just as Jesus sent Ananias to Saul to affirm that Jesus was calling Saul to be a witness for Him. Affirmation, so important to a dream. Saul had been dreaming. The Bible said he’d had a “vision” that a man named Ananias would come and lay hands on him and he would receive his sight again. Maybe Saul was already starting to dream about how he could go out into the world and win everyone for Jesus. You know excited new converts can be!! And Saul was certainly one, who when he made up his mind, was a determined man! Saul knew what had happened to him on that Damascus road was real and the Bible tells us he started preaching right away. I believe in those three days, Saul was in constant communion with God because God was equipping Him for a mighty work. And Saul believed God. He believed that Jesus was the Son of God. He believed the cross now stood as a sign of victory and not defeat. He finally understood that it was victory in the face of the believers that he’d been seeing. Their eyes were on their Savior, something he had not been able to see, until he was blinded. And then he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard the words, “My Brother Saul”. Ananias affirmed all that God had been telling Saul and the journey was about to begin. So awesome to read a story like that. Of course it’s always easier when you know the ending to the story. It’s harder when you’re the one sitting in the dark. Maybe you’ve been dreaming a dream. Maybe you’ve felt the Holy Spirit leading you but you don’t quite “see the light” yet. Maybe you’re afraid to take a step of faith because the fear of your past seems like a huge wall in front of you. Can I encourage you to keep dreaming? The world needs dreamers who believe in a Big God! The world needs people, like Saul, who believe in spite of how messy their life has been or how many things they’ve done wrong, Jesus can still rescue them and send them out to be a light. Maybe it’s time to quit trusting in what you see and just close your eyes. This blog is a hand on your shoulder today. You’ve been affirmed. It’s time to leave Straight Street and just go. The pounding on the table and screaming began when I started singing. I continued leading the women in worship, but glanced at Patti and she met my eyes with the same sense of urgency and I knew we were both praying for the same thing….a miracle from God. I should have known something was wrong when we arrived at the cell block and instead of seeing two or three ladies out at the tables, there was a crowd of over 20. For just a second, I actually thought “how wonderful! All these women are ready to worship!” I know, call me crazy. I should have immediately surmised that something was wrong, but that’s not the way I’m wired. I always, always, always believe the best, most positive thing first. As the officer was unlocking the door to the cell block, the women began hollering and fussing about not being able to go to their cells. It seems due to some unfortunate behavior, everyone was going to have to just sit in the cell block area while their cells remained locked. Again, I was trying to think positive. I was thrilled to have the chance to share and minister to so many women this morning; it never dawned on me that some might not want to be part of a church service. I went around the room as I normally do, greeting the women. I went over to a table where several ladies were sitting and one lady had her head down on her folded arms. As I greeted the other women, I patted her back. She riled up and screamed “Don’t touch me!” It took me completely by surprise and I hurriedly told her I was sorry but she screamed again, “Don’t tell me you’re sorry!” I think if we’d been on the street, she would have fought me. I should have known then that we were in for an interesting morning. But mostly, my heart went out to her. I handed out the song sheets to the women at the other tables, the ones who wanted to worship, and the first song was “Mighty to Save”. I decided to teach them the chorus so I started out singing…..”Savior, He can move the mountains, our God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save……” Then it began. Pounding and screaming, nonstop. It was the lady at the back corner table of the cellblock. I kept singing, the other women kept singing, but our voices were all drowned out by the loud pounding on the table. As I sang, I looked at Patti, and then at the women. I started walking around the two tables of women who were singing just so they’d be able to hear me. We all seemed to be determined to keep singing and I’m sure collectively hoped the lady would just calm down and get tired of making such a racket. I knew that Patti would be praying, and I discovered I could walk around the room, sing, and pray all at the same time. Unfortunately, the lady seemed to grow more agitated that we kept singing and before I knew it she’d gotten up and come over to the tables and screamed at the women, “WHY ARE YOU SINGING?!!” Well here’s where it gets really interesting. You will never believe what song I had on my song sheet sing next. Well before I tell you that, I have to tell you how I got the song sheet. Typically I type it up during the week. I look for just the “right” songs all week. I listen to the radio for inspiration and try to find what I’m feeling God specifically wants us to sing that week. I’ve even written a few songs for us to sing. This week, not so. It had been a busy week and I realized on Saturday that I had not prepared a song sheet for this Sunday. So I pulled out my laptop and there were two old song sheets on it. So I pulled them up, chose one and decided it would just have to work. I printed off 12 copies. So when the lady yelled WHY ARE YOU SINGING, I was so blown away by what the next song was….it’s called “Why We Sing” by Kirk Franklin. Can you believe it? Just so you know what a GOD THING that song was, here are the lyrics: Someone asked a question Why do we sing When we lift our hands to Jesus What do we really mean Someone may be wondering When we sing our song At times we may be cryin' And nothings even wrong [Chorus] I sing because I'm happy I sing because I'm free His eyes are the sparrow He’s the reason why I sing And when the song is over We've all said Amen In your heart just keep on singing And the song will never end And if somebody asks you was it just a show Lift your and a be a witness And tell the whole the whole world no And when we cross that river To study war no more We will sing our song to Jesus The one whom we adore I still get chills when I see the women with determined faces, singing loud. It was as if they were ALL going to be a witness on this morning that no matter what that lady was going to do, they would not stop singing because HE was the reason they were singing! Although she didn’t completely stop her noise, it did slow down some. I think in her heart of hearts she actually DID want to know where all that joy could be coming from. How could they sing on a morning when they were forced out of their rooms? How could they sing when they’re locked up? How could they sing when life was falling apart and they were in a miserable place? After we sang, I prayed. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so anointed as I prayed. I continued to walk around the tables and pray over the women and over Patti. I decided to keep my eyes open and up to Heaven….that’s where the Bible promised our help would come from and I was depending on it. Patti began speaking and did her best to make her voice carry above the noise. She talked about how distractions come into our lives. She talked about Daniel in the lion’s den and when she did, the lady actually screamed “ROAR”! And Patti said, “yep, just like that!” Honestly, it kind of felt like we were in the lion’s den! I kept praying and asking God to do something, to close her mouth like He closed the mouths of the lions. I opened the Bible, silently praying for guidance, for wisdom, for something to tell me that God was in control. This is what I read: I Peter 4: 7-11 “But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers. 8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”[c] 9 Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. 10 As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 11 If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever.” Just a few minutes after reading that the women from the back table called to me. They said “she” wanted to talk to me. At this point my positivity may have been dampened somewhat and I honestly thought I might be walking into a trap. What if she started yelling again? She’d finally quieted down some. But I felt the urging of the Spirit, so I went. As I approached her, she looked up at me and said “would you pray for me? I know I’ve been acting wrong this morning.” “Yes, I’ll pray with you if that’s what you really want?” I asked hesitantly. When she answered yes, I decided I might as well go all in. “Can I touch you on the shoulder?” Again, a yes. And so I did. I gently put my hand on her shoulder and began to pray. I can’t remember what all I said, but I was praying whatever I felt the spirit directed me to say. And she remained calm, allowing me to speak God’s grace over her and that she be restored as the woman God intended her to be. When I finished, she looked at the women at her table and said “I’ve been wrong ya’ll. I’ve been acting so bad.” Then what she did next was nothing short of amazing. She walked over to the tables where Patti was speaking and said she needed to apologize to God for her behavior. She said she was sorry for all she’d been doing and then she sat down and as calmly as a lamb. That may be the quickest I’ve ever seen God answer prayer! I had received two texts on my way to the jail that morning from dear friends letting me know they were praying for us as we went in the jail. I honestly believe we needed ALL those prayers to defeat the enemy on that morning. I’m so grateful for those of you who pray. I’m so grateful to a God who SEES us all. I’m so grateful for the opportunity every Sunday to go a place of despair and sorrow, where women may feel that they are in a lion’s den, attacked on every side with no hope in sight. I can tell them, now more than ever, He has dominion and power and authority and can shut the mouth of any lion in your way. After we left the jail and I was safe and sound in our church sanctuary, I reflected on the scripture God gave me. I continued to read the passage in 1 Peter 4:12-14 and read this: “Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.” |
AuthorHi! I am Donna and I'm traveling. It's a journey to discover who I am in Christ every day....no looking back, face to the Son! Come join me! Archives
October 2017
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